Things have been so gay recently.
You ever wonder what things would be like if u just changed one thing you did in your past?...If your life would be better...Maybe even worse?
Would you still have the same friends? Same outlook on things. Would you still be where u are today. Idk i was thinking about it alot today actulley.
Wondered if maybe my relationship with timothy would be better if i had only done things the way they shouldve been...Maybe he'd be happier. And we wouldnt fight so much. Maybe i wouldnt be afriad to talk to him like i am.
I really do wish i was more open with him. I have this intense fear that if i say something that i think or feel or something and i think hell get mad at me or upset with me and well end up arguing when i know he reassures me that he wont i do it anyway. And i keep all this junk locked up inside.
I really need to learn to open up..i think that owuld help our relationship a thousnad times more than anything. But i cant right now i just dont know how.
Ergh. I hate myself for it sometimes.
I love him with everything. And i know he knows that. But sometimes its just so hard to show him the affection he wants. Because i cant control the way i feel about things. So i feel like im a bad wife or something.I just wish things could be diffrent sometimes. And i know they could be...if i would just let them. But noooo daneilles gotta be a dumb bitch for the rest of her life...
My offical goal inlife is not to be a bitch anymore.
But it doesnt seem to be working.